goings on

i am bad at keeping up with things like this. clearly.

my mom is dating someone and i don't like him
i'm pretty sure the only reason i don't like him is because she's dating him
otherwise i'm almost positive we would get along, in fact we did get along until i found out she was dating him
i can't decide if it's ok to be feeling like this, if it's ok to not like this guy just because my mom is dating him and just because he's not my dad
or if i just need to suck it up and be happy that my mom is happy, even though a large part of me only wants her to be happy with my dad
at times like this i really wish my mom would see me as a daughter and not a best friend, it's heartbreaking to hear her say how much happier she is with someone who is not my dad, with someone who is not the man she was married to for almost 30 years
i don't want to jeopardize the relationship my mom and i have, because i value it more than anything in the world, i just wish the line from daughter to best friend was a little more defined

in other news i suppose i'm growing up
i don't really feel the need to go out anymore
i would much rather lay in bed next to my boy and watch a movie or just hang out and talk instead of going out to a bar and drink
or maybe i'm just becoming super lame
and if that's the case then so be it, i'm beth and i'm certifiably lame and i never been happier in my whole entire life
in the love aspect of my life i feel whole, like whatever piece i was missing before i have finally found