this is a good sign

i normally try to avoid parking on his street
i'm actually terrified to do it
not because of seeing him, but because i don't know how i'll react when i do

anyway, today it was unavoidable, and spots were only available on his street
god was smiling on me today
because who should emerge from their house hand-in-hand just as i'm exiting my car?
that's right, him and his fiancee
i really wanted to do nothing more than crawl into a hole

you know how when you see an ex-love while with your current partner you do your best to make them jealous and act excessively happy?
you hold each other tighter, laugh and talk a little louder, and smile a little bigger
yeah, that's exactly what they did

i actually laughed, surprisingly, and i wasn't as affected by it as i thought i would be
it was weird, because at one time that was us, and now it's not, and that seems like so long ago

i am actually happy that that's not me
i don't want him to be happy, because i'm not convinced that you should be allowed to be happy when you treated someone the way he treated me
but i'm happy that i'm not with him

and the competitive bitch inside me loves knowing that he's not as happy as he pretends to be
that he has recently called me and told me he is miserable, and wants me back
whether it be stupid mind games or not, it is so nice to know that he regrets not realizing what he had when he had it